Category: Relationships

Solo Cruising turned out to be awesome!

I want to pitch a new reality show: The Golden Bachelor/Bachelorette Meets The Love Boat. Or maybe “Love is Old” instead of “Love is Blind”?

Because you know what? Old is “in”! There were lots of attractive, fun people who were older than me on this cruise. I hope to some day be like my friend, Patsy, who’s gorgeous and sexy at age 90.

I’m still a young sexagenarian! (Gotta take advantage of that sexy sexagenarian label while it applies.) We’re the babies of the Baby Boomers.

Certainly there were sexy people, both younger and older than me in our solos group. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve redefined what “sexy” means to me.

Finding “Love” while Solo Cruising

Once I stopped looking for a husband, the singles scene became a lot less intimidating. I realized the “sexiest” people were the ones with the sweetest smiles, not the ones with the best bodies.

I’ve found so many loving friendships once I stopped focusing on romantic attraction. Everyone has a story. Whatever their age or gender, their race, religion or sexual orientation, who cares? If they’re different from me, they’re someone who can teach me a different perspective.

But I have to admit, it’s a special kind of fun to be around good-looking single men. I have so much baggage around “dating” that I’d pretty much given up on it. But definitely there’s an exciting energy when that spark of romantic interest hits.

Loving Lika

Yes, it was nice to have that “Wow! You’re super sexy!” feeling. Our young, female Solo coordinator, Lika, was sexy in every definition of the word. I think everyone was in love with her!

I was especially envious of Lika’s dance moves and tried to talk the group into doing a private song to the tune of “Moves Like Jagger.” I thought it would be fun for us all to try and do our “sexy moves” while we were singing:

Loving the Solos

There also was a feeling of ‘group love’ for the new friendships, and an admiration for all who got out living life fully, regardless of any limitations! (That’s my whole “Carpe Diem” thing, ya know.)

I appreciated the younger solos, particularly Trish and Zach, who treated those of us who were much older, as peers, including on the dance floor.

Trish shot this video of Zach dancing with me to my birthday song, “When I’m 64.” I was happily surprised at her “Carpe Diem” Birthday shout out to me as she was shooting this video.

As much as I loved dancing and the group dinners, I especially liked talking one-on-one and learning more about people. I heard a lot of “Carpe Diem Hero” stories – People who have been through huge hardships, but don’t let that stop them from smiling and living life fully.

Not all “solos” were “single.” Some had partners at home who couldn’t travel with them. That was another reason that the “solos” group was not nearly as awkward as the “singles” scene.

I knew I was hoping just to find people to sit with at meals….people to look out at the ocean with and say, “Isn’t that beautiful?”…People to laugh with, play with, and dance with.

There was no expectations for future communication, but I was happy that there was a sheet that was passed around on the last day for us to share contact information.

And (even though I really don’t like to share information about my dating life on this blog), I will let inquiring minds know that my favorite solo lives in Orlando and is taking me out for a birthday dinner on Saturday!

Loving the Locals and the Sloths!

Another “love story” I’ve been having fun with is my love of this adorable sloth.

In this blog post, I tell the story of Charlene Dilbert, a local tour guide who helped me with Spanish and gave me a little taste of how the locals live in Roatan, and introduced me to this sweet sloth.

It was such a fun experience to practice Spanish, hug a sloth, and make a new friend from Honduras!

Solo Cruising Summary

Cruising isn’t for everyone. There’s a lot of eating, drinking, and sunshine – all things I love, but should avoid in excess. Some friends think cruising is too inactive. That hasn’t been a problem for me. I get plenty of exercise dancing!

However, for me, the best thing about any trip or vacation is sharing it with people I love. That’s why it was so stressful for me to think about doing this vacation alone.

I’m not saying it’s easy to find romantic love from solo cruising, but if you are intentional about reaching out, you will find people to love. Not to mention, adorable sloths!

Carpe Diem Superhero: Ursula Dahnelt

This year, Ursula Dahnelt wins my Carpe Diem Superhero award for her incredible strength and perseverance in her battle with ovarian cancer.

I learned yesterday of Ursula’s passing. Though I’ve known for several years about her cancer, it still is such a sad shock to know she’s no longer with us.

She certainly didn’t look like what we’d all imagine the stereotypical cancer patient would look like. During the summer, she and I had a weekly hiking date. She lived in Boulder, walking distance to the beautiful trails around NCAR, so we’d meet at her house, and she’d play ‘trail guide’ leading us through a variety of different trails. Sometimes we’d take the car and venture further out. There are no shortage of trails to explore in Colorado.

Superhero Strength!

I was always amazed that despite being 5 years older than me and undergoing chemotherapy, she still was incredibly strong and fit, usually leading the way up hills at a fast clip as I tried to keep up. She had a strength-building coach who she met with twice a week and she allowed me a selfie on each hike to share with her coach.

Ursula was incredibly independent and proud of how much she could do, in spite of the cancer. She took control of her care, doing research on treatments around the world. She often would talk about the need for patients to be their own advocates and to recognize that each body is unique and going to respond differently, so not to trust any ‘one-size-fits-all’ regimens.

Past Carpe Diem Superheros

The original “Carpe Diem Superhero,” the man who inspired “Carpe Diem Day” was Craig Dunham, my friend who died in 2010 from ALS. Last year was my friend, Dee O’Malley (who lives on at age 91!), and before that it was Lee MacIvor, who honored the memory of her late husband.

As I wrote last year:

Each of these three Carpe Diem Superheroes have earned admiration from me, not just because of living life fully, but because they do so (or did so), despite challenge, grief, and hardships.

Now, I’m adding Ursula to my list as a Carpe Diem Superhero.

Ursula didn’t think of herself as a “Superhero.” She certainly didn’t want any special treatment or even mention of her cancer diagnosis. She absolutely did not want pity or sympathy.

There were times, of course, when she was sick and struggled. I don’t mean to imply that anyone who is diagnosed with cancer would be able to hike or maintain the fitness and attitude that Ursula managed.

She outlived all the other women in her ovarian cancer support group. She beat the odds with long periods of healthy living, often by discovering treatments on her own.

Ursula’s strength and courage will inspire me, alongside the other Superheroes I’m meeting on this emotional journey called life. I’m grateful to have had her as a friend and honored to have been part of her own journey.