Category: Goals

Robotic Pet Provides Joy for All

Episode of Simpsons with robotic seals – My grandchildren shared this episode with me when I told them the story of their Great Grandmother’s new robotic cat.

Robotics and AI have really taken off in the past couple of years. I’m recognizing how much these advances in technology can help people with dementia. One of the sweetest surprises has been how much joy a robotic cat has brought my mom—and not just to her, but to many residents at her senior living community.

Mom, with her new robotic cat, Joy, sitting with her friend, Maggie

A robotic pet was first recommended to me by the Alzheimer’s Association. I was very worried about how Mom would cope with the loss of her (second) partner. Being a nurse, wonderful mother, and animal lover, Mom’s purpose has always been about taking care of others. The woman I spoke to said a robotic pet may help bring her some comfort.

Not a Great First Impression

I was skeptical, but I thought it couldn’t hurt to buy her a robo-cat. When I saw the company that put out these robotic pets was called “Joy for All,” I thought it might be some supernatural sign. Mom’s partner’s last name was “Joy.”

Originally, Mom had the reaction I’d expected. “I’m not so far gone that I don’t know the difference between a real cat and a toy!” she said. And then she added, “but it was a very nice gesture,” not wanting to hurt my feelings.

I told her I wasn’t trying to fool her. It’s just that it was a pretty cool “toy.” If she didn’t want it, though, I could send him back.

Robotic Cat is a Hit with Community

We brought the robotic cat down to dinner with us and everyone at the table loved it! It got so much attention that Mom started to rethink her position. She saw there was value in this “toy” after all!

Robotic cat, Joy, is a big hit with the residents

By the end of the next day, Mom not only decided to keep “Joy,” but I sent robotic cats to two of her friends who had become enamored with the cute futuristic pet.

So Many Benefits, So Much Joy

The robotic cat could purr, meow (or be put in silent mode), roll-over for a tummy scratch, and “pseudo-lick” its paws. Mom and her friends marveled at how easy it was to get the same kind of comfort and attachment you’d feel from a live cat, without any of the problems. “We should buy stock in the company that puts this out!” declared Mom.

Joy rolling over for a tummy-scratch

We talked about all the benefits of a robotic pet:

  • No need to feed them
  • No need to clean their poop
  • No worries about shedding
  • No worries they’ll run out when you’re not looking
  • No expensive visits to the vet
  • and the best thing, I reminded Mom, “you never have to worry about them getting sick or dying!”

Mom quickly replied: “We just better make sure I have plenty of batteries!”

Two Months Later

Over two months have passed since I gave Mom the robotic cat. She often talks about how much she enjoys him, often adding something like, “I don’t care who thinks its silly.”

I tell her, “No one thinks its silly, Mom. I’m glad you like him!”

This experience has made me reflect on what it means to feel connected—even to something inanimate. If it brings comfort, calm, or a sense of companionship, that’s real. That’s valuable.

I may just have to get one of those robotic cats for myself.

The Party’s Over… But the Mission Continues

Our Longest Day Party may be over, and I’m thrilled to share that I’ve already exceeded my fundraising goal — thank you to everyone who donated or supported the cause! 💜

Even though the event has passed, the Alzheimer’s Association continues its vital work every day — and donations are always welcome.

If this story touched your heart, feel free to contribute here:
🔗 http://act.alz.org/goto/KeepMemoriesAlive

Every dollar helps keep memories alive and supports families like mine through their Alzheimer’s journey.

My Longest Day Alzheimer’s Fundraiser Party: Keeping Memories Alive

On June 20th, the summer solstice—also known as The Longest Day—I hosted a very special party to support the Alzheimer’s Association. (As a bonus, I think it must have been the Hottest Day, too!) The day was filled with purple decorations, heartfelt conversations, music, memory-making, and so much gratitude.

This cause is personal for me. My mother is living with Alzheimer’s, and seeing her memory fade has helped me become more determined than ever to take photos and record my gratitude. I wanted to do more than raise money—I wanted to keep memories alive!

Thanks to the generous support of so many, I not only hosted a successful party, but I exceeded the fundraising goal of $1,600 and raised almost $2000!

📝 Poems of Gratitude

As my thank-you for contributors, I created a memory book of personalized poems.

📖 Read the “Keep Memories Alive” Poem Book

This ebook is my way of celebrating the power of memory, gratitude, and community. Writing each poem was an act of love—made easier with the help of good ol’ ChatGPT, but, of course, driven by my own personal reflections on the unique gifts of these generous souls.

🎉 Party Highlights

The party included:

  • 💜 A photo booth and memory craft corner designed by my grandkids, Diego & Reneya
  • 🧘‍♀️ A calming yoga session led by my daughter, Megan
  • 🍇 Purple-themed snacks and delicious blueberry muffins
  • 🎧 A VR experience hosted in the basement by my son Scotty!
  • 🎶 Music, laughter, and singing

Here are a few favorite photos from the day:

🌿 Final Reflections

Alzheimer’s takes away memories, but it can’t take away love. Thank you to everyone who helped me create new memories on this day. Your kindness, presence, and generosity mean more than I can express.

Keeping Memories Alive – Alzheimer’s Fundraiser at the Poppy Festival

Collecting Memories at the Lancaster Poppy Festival

My Alzheimer’s fundraiser to raise awareness, funds, and memories has begun!

Wearing my purple Alzheimer’s gear and superhero cape, I headed with Scotty to the Lancaster Poppy Festival—ready to collect memories.

Scotty helped me redesign my business cards to include a QR code linking to my Alzheimer’s fundraising page.

http://act.alz.org/goto/KeepMemoriesAlive

Armed with purple-foiled dark chocolate kisses (brain food!), a camera, and my new cards, we entered the park. I told Scotty my easy goal: to talk to just one person about my mission.

Approaching strangers isn’t easy, especially for fundraising. I didn’t really expect to get any donations—but even without contributions, I hoped at least one person would be open to sharing a memory on video.

I ended up having success right out of the gate (literally). The security guards commented on my costume, and when I explained my mission, one guard shared that she had recently lost her mother, Star, to Alzheimer’s. “Every time I look at the sky,” she said, “I think of her.”

Before we left the park, I’d recorded two more videos—one from a group of kids sharing a wild memory about a stingray sting, and another, a touching story of brotherly love in the face of grief.

Having exceeded my goal, Scotty and I enjoyed the rest of the festival, making memories of our own.

That night, I uploaded the videos and created a YouTube playlist—a digital time capsule of sorts. My daughter-in-law, Stella, has even agreed to maintain it as part of my digital legacy.

Call to Action: Help Me Keep Memories Alive

Do you have a memory you’d like to share—about someone you’ve lost, a moment you treasure, or even a funny childhood story that still makes you smile?

Help me build a living library of moments that matter. You can record a short video (about 1 minute or less) sharing your memory and I’ll include it in my “Keeping Memories Alive” YouTube playlist.

This project supports Alzheimer’s awareness and honors the beauty and fragility of memory. Even if you can’t donate, sharing a memory helps us all stay connected to what matters most.

👉 Watch the full playlist:
🎥 Keeping Memories Alive YouTube Playlist

👉 Want to add your memory? Here’s how:

  • Email memory and/or a video link to:
    📧 yvette.francino@gmail.com
    Include your name and a title or description for your memory if you’d like.

Together, we can preserve stories, honor loved ones, and spread hope—one memory at a time.

Keep Memories Alive: Alzheimer’s Awareness Campaign Begins

Super Carpe Diem Woman is back!

Once upon a time (OK, I still do this regularly), I donned a cape and became Super Carpe Diem Woman — champion of joy, optimism, resilience and goofy fundraising antics. My original mission? Fight ALS in honor of my friend Craig Dunham.

Now? I’m back. 💥 This time, I’m donning a purple-cape to raise money for the Alzheimer’s Association, in honor of my incredible mom.

Life lately has been both wonderful and difficult. I usually write about the wonderful — and yes, there’s still plenty of that — but feeling helpless while my Mom is struggling with so much has not been easy. 

Inspired by a wise friend, I started reframing the hard stuff with a daily Joy Journal. Because when things feel out of control, gratitude, joy, and finding things to laugh about can all help.

And now I’m continuing the joy journey — fundraising, running, traveling, and gaming my way toward something meaningful.

What’s next for Super Carpe Diem Woman

✅ April 27th, I’ll be taking a slow solo road trip from California to Colorado. (I hate to drive but turning it into a brain-building fundraiser is my attempt at making this trip more meaningful and fun.)
✅ I’m training to run the Boulder Bolder on May 26. If you see someone jogging slowly in costume and high-fiving strangers — it’s me. (Actually, I’ll fit right in!)
✅ On May 31, I’ll be attending the Alzheimer’s Purple Gala in Denver. Sparkly purple dress? Right up my alley!
✅ And on June 20, I’m hosting a Longest Day Party — because joy and laughter are pretty great memory-makers, too.

This is me, attempting to turn helplessness into action. Working on my own brain health and spreading the word about how you can improve yours.  Trying to turn tough stuff into a tiny bit of joy.

Help bring an end to Alzheimer’s

Support the cause with a donation, a share, a memory, a cheer, or just a kind comment! You can follow along here on the blog and on all the usual social suspects. I’ll be posting updates, photos, stories, and undoubtedly some silly selfies. Here’s to finding joy and making new memories every day. 💜
http://act.alz.org/goto/KeepMemoriesAlive

The Magic of Valencia

“In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, the friends we didn’t meet, and the adventures we didn’t share.” — Unknown

Valencia is a place I never even had on my bucket-list.

Over six years ago, I retired because of chronic back issues. A doctor told me the condition was degenerative and the pain would likely get worse. I spent the next 60 weeks, implementing my 60-until-60 project, executing 60 goals before my 60th birthday.

Most of my goals focused on the people in my life. There was only one trip that I took in which I traveled alone and that was to Costa Rica for a Spanish Immersion program.  It was on that trip that I met David Davies.

How amazing that meeting David led to an experience 6 years later that I never imagined would be possible – this magical 3 weeks in Spain.

It was David who told me about the VaughanTown opportunity and then invited me to Valencia afterwards.   David’s hospitality and guidance throughout my stay were priceless!

Every day was an experience deserving of its own post. Instead,  I put together a video set to the music of Josh Groban’s, “You Raise Me Up” with photos from the trip.  (By the way, I’d asked David for a song to add to the Playlist I’d created as part of my 60 until 60 project and this is the one he chose. It turned out to be a perfect background for this slideshow!)

🎥 Watch: “Valencia with David Davies”

A Few Favorite Moments in Still Life

One of the things that made this vacation so special is that I didn’t have the usual “travel stress.” Other times I’ve visited Europe, I’ve been a pure tourist, trying to take in every historical site and museum amidst crowds. I’d load my itinerary up with all the recommended attractions and spend way too much time trying to figure out all the logistics.

This time, with David as a guide, I got to step into his world, relaxing, playing, meeting the locals, enjoying the cafes, and getting a personalized tour of all the beautiful city spots.

Though most of these photos are repeats from the slideshow, I wanted to repeat them here and also note memories of times when I wasn’t able to snap a picture.

Photos and Memories From Valencia

  • David’s sweet hospitality – from a welcome surprise to delicious meals (he’s quite the chef!) He’s a true model for making a guest feel welcome.
  • The beach! – just a short walk from David’s flat.
  • David playfully interacting with “the locals”
  • Meeting and speaking in Spanish with people on the busses and subways
  • Port Saplaya – Sitting with David and enjoying the view
  • The intercambio event at Helen’s Cafe
  • Meeting and chatting with David’s neighborhood friends
  • Running a 5K in Turia Park – My “independent” excursion!
  • My coffee and view – a sweet habit for conversation, people-watching, and savoring the experience
  • Watching Netflix shows in Spanish with David in the evenings
  • Seeing an unexpected parade right on David’s street for Semana Santa Marinera (Maritime Holy Week)
  • “Teaching” David about ChatGPT (which he named “Fred”) and sampling the AI paintings it can make and the poems it can write.

AI (Fred) – Generated Memories

To Sir David, A Most Wondrous Knave of Wit and Wander

Hark! What light through yonder doorway gleams?
’Tis David fair, well-traveled, bold, and wise!
A scholar keen, well-versed in worldly themes,
Whose nimble tongue dost all confusion prize.

In Spain he strides with grace both fleet and spry,
And guides lost souls through winding streets with glee.
Yet oft he speaks, and lo! with twinkling eye,
Doth weave such tales as bend the truth’s decree!

For certes, none could boast a friend so rare—
Who call’d me thrice whilst plague did haunt the land,
And spun such jests that sorrow fled mid-air,
Like thieves who flee from justice’ stern demand.

So raise thy cup to David, wise and free!
A rogue of mirth—yet aye, the best of thee!

Gracias, David. Because of you, I experienced a trip of a lifetime.

Language Lovers, Discover VaughanTown

Volunteers and Learners at VaughanTown in Barco de Ávila, Spain

I once told you about the perfect volunteer opportunity with the Manatee Literacy Council. Well, now I have yet another incredible experience to share: VaughanTown.

VaughanTown offers a six-day English immersion program where native English-speaking volunteers help Spaniards refine their language skills. In return, volunteers stay at a beautiful, remote retreat in Spain, enjoying all meals and activities—completely free!

Why VaughanTown Stole My Heart

This experience exceeded all expectations. It felt like an adult summer camp—only much better! Everyone there, staff, volunteer or learner, was deeply committed to language and cultural exchange.

While I didn’t get to practice Spanish myself (the program’s goal is for Spaniards to speak only English), I left more inspired than ever to immerse myself in Spanish. In fact, I’m seriously considering spending three months a year in Spain. For now, I’m starting with 10 days in Valencia—but if I truly want fluency, I’ll need to create my own immersion experience!

Here are just a few of my favorite aspects of the program:

Beautiful scenery to enjoy while walking and talking with the learners
  • Breathtaking setting – A serene retreat, perfect for learning and connection.
  • Delicious food – Three full meals a day, each one an experience of its own.
  • Engaging activities – A mix of structured sessions and playful moments.
  • A well-organized agenda – Every day was full with interesting challenges.
  • Meaningful connections – With both learners and fellow volunteers, forging bonds that felt deep and genuine.

The Power of Connection

I loved hearing about Pilar’s experience walking the Camino de Santiago

At this stage in life, it’s easy to feel invisible. As I wrote in The Yes Quest Challenge, I no longer have a traditional workplace or a team looking to me for guidance, and my children are fiercely independent. Meanwhile, the world—and my own family—often feel like they are in a state of constant flux, full of challenges I have no control over.

But in VaughanTown, my sole purpose was to help others. And that was healing in ways I hadn’t expected.

Each day, I had one-on-one conversations with nearly every learner. Regardless of their English proficiency, I felt an immediate fondness for them as they shared their passions, interests, and stories. I understood their struggle—because I, too, am on the journey of learning a second language.

Their diversity amazed me: different ages, backgrounds, and personalities, yet all sharing the same drive and determination. Some were mischievous and playful, others quiet and humble—but each had a unique soul that shone through.

I also realized how much of our personality transcends words—through our eyes, tone, body language. Even when words fail, a glance or a gesture can convey powerful empathy and understanding.

Play, Creativity, and Laughter

Fernando and Lucia, our fearless and talented leaders

Many activities involved short skits and group assignments, led by Lucia, our vivacious emcee. With her background in acting, she encouraged playfulness and creativity—often kicking off sessions with singing and dancing.

One of my favorite assignments was group presentations on difficult to describe concepts such as Music, Free Will, or Identity.

Our group was assigned Color. We began hunched over, lamenting, “Imagine a world without color—so dull and lifeless!” Then we leapt up, arms wide, donning colorful wigs: “Now imagine a world FULL of color!”

Each of us described what our favorite color represented. Naturally, I was purple. I was tempted to mention how purple reflects my Centrist political stance, but I stuck with the safer explanation—February birthdays, amethyst, violets. My teammates followed suit with their own creative interpretations, highlighting the beauty of diversity.

We ended with Susan singing I Can Sing a Rainbow, while the rest of us locked arms and danced behind her.

Other presentations were equally moving—some brought me to tears with laughter, others with sheer admiration for the brilliance and creativity of my fellow participants.

Lessons in Listening

After the final “graduation ceremony,” I shared a reflection with the group that went something like this:

At a time in my life when I often feel unheard, having a volunteer opportunity where the primary task was to listen was not a chore—it was a gift.

As someone who has tried speed dating, I can tell you—VaughanTown is a much better way to fall in love. Not in the romantic sense, but in the way that deep, meaningful conversations create bonds. Through our shared love of languages and our willingness to listen, I feel like I’ve fallen in love with each of you—as a mother, a sister, a friend.

This experience also made me realize that listening is an underutilized skill—especially in times of conflict. When we share the same language, we often focus more on expressing our own opinions than truly hearing one another. But in VaughanTown, where language barriers forced us to be more patient, more engaged, and more empathetic, I saw firsthand the magic of true listening.

Final Thoughts

VaughanTown was more than a volunteer program—it was a masterclass in human connection. It reminded me that no matter where we come from, we all have stories to tell and a deep longing to be heard.

For anyone who loves language, culture, or meaningful conversations, this is an experience I can’t recommend enough.

As for me? I may just be packing my bags for a longer stay in Spain…

Solo Travel in Retirement: Finding My Sweet Spot

Guess where I am? In Madrid!

Desayuno en Madrid

You might be wondering why I’m writing a blog post instead of soaking up the Madrid nightlife. Well, it turns out the weather has been rainy and cold since I arrived 24 hours ago. On top of that, I’m exhausted. Right now, my main goal is just to stay awake until 10 p.m. Spain time so I can reset my internal clock. That comfy Marriott bed is calling my name!

To be honest, though, I’ve never been much of a nightlife person. I’m more of a boring Benjamin Franklin type—early to bed, early to rise.

Learning to Love Solo Travel

If you’ve followed my travels, you may recall my moody and lonely blog post from Mexico when late-night partiers kept me up. That trip made me realize how much I missed having a travel companion. Almost every vacation I’d ever taken before retirement was with a friend, family member, or romantic partner. I always believed that what makes a vacation truly fun isn’t the destination—it’s the company. Sharing meals, figuring out directions together (I really need that!), and creating shared memories have always been the highlights of my travels.

Madrid Train/Subway Station – Help! I get confused even in the US!

But once I retired, my travel motivations changed. I no longer needed a break from work, so my trips started falling into different categories:

  • Chasing the sun in the winter
  • Spanish immersion
  • Volunteer work
  • Meeting up with friends or family
  • Seeking new experiences

After my lonely Mexico trip, I swore I’d never go on a long solo trip again. But then I realized the issue wasn’t traveling alone—it was not having an easy way to meet other solo travelers.

The Joy of Connecting with Fellow Solo Travelers

One of the great things about meeting other solo travelers is that it expands your worldwide network of like-minded friends! (Side note: I’ve also discovered the magic of solo cruising, but that’s a whole chapter if I ever write a book about solo retirement.)

Back in January 2020, just before the pandemic hit, I spent a couple of weeks in Costa Rica at Conversa, a Spanish immersion program. There, I met David from the UK, who introduced me to VaughanTown, a program where native English speakers help Spanish business professionals become more fluent in English. In exchange, English-speaking volunteers get free room and board. How amazing is that?

I’m so excited to be volunteering with VaughanTown next week! After that, I’ll be heading to Valencia, where David has generously offered to host me in his “flat.”

Why This Trip is Perfect for Me

This solo trip to Spain checks all my favorite travel boxes:

✅ I’ll meet lots of new people (and talking to them is my “volunteer job”!)

✅ I’ll get to practice Spanish with native speakers.

✅ I’ll get to visit David, an interesting, fun, and thoughtful friend!

✅ I’ll have new and unique experiences every day.

Solo retirement travel is a learning process, but I’m finding my sweet spot—mixing adventure, connection, and personal growth. And who knows? Maybe after a good night’s sleep, I’ll even stay up past 10pm. (I hear at VaughanTown, dinner isn’t even until 9pm, and then “social time” is from 10-midnight. Sorry, Ben Franklin.)

Update: Today I read about this adventurous 66-year-old woman who is traveling the world solo on her bicycle!

Have you ever traveled solo? What were your best (or worst) experiences?

Spreading Love, Gratitude, and Connection in Retirement

I get a lot of newsletters about living life fully. Many of them come from websites featured on CarpeDiemDay, like the Greater Good Science Center (GGSC) and Grateful Living.

A few weeks ago, in this blog post, I shared that GGSC recently sponsored a Love Grant RFP, and thanks to the many uplifting February newsletters focusing on love, I found all kinds of inspiration for expanding what I could do.

Rather than reinvent the wheel with a new nonprofit, I realized I could promote existing organizations and volunteer opportunities—bringing in my own special niche: solo aging and even incorporating my Agile expertise. I’ve always thought it would be cool to combine two of my passions: Love and Agile!

My Love Grant Proposal

I’ve never written up a proposal before. Once I saw all that was required in the GGSC Love Grant RFP, I knew that even filling out the proposal would be time-consuming. Given that one of the major factors in receiving a grant is “Reach” and my audience is rather small, I know it’s very unlikely I’ll win this grant.

However, just completing the proposal gave me the kick in the pants I needed to put a plan in place for partnering with organizations that align with my vision.

As I took a stab at filling out each field, I became more excited about what I could do with the CarpeDiemDay Website and the Carpe Diem Connections Podcast, even if I didn’t get the grant.

Here’s my project summary:

Agile Love: Embracing Change & Connection for Solo Agers

Love evolves as we age, yet many older singles feel invisible or disconnected. This project blends storytelling with Agile principles—adaptation, feedback, and continuous learning—to help aging singles cultivate meaningful love in all its forms. Through interviews, essays, and engaging discussions, I’ll explore how embracing change fosters connection. Partnering with AARP, Grateful Living, and others, I aim to shift narratives around aging, love, and community.

Reviving Carpe Diem Connections Podcast

Podcast Revival

Applying for the GGSC Love Grant also motivated me to do something I’ve been wanting to do for awhile now: Revive my Carpe Diem Connections podcast! This season, I’ll focus on Grateful Living, inspired by the work of Grateful.org. Their resources and daily gratitude practices align perfectly with my mission of embracing life fully.

Each episode will explore how gratitude can transform our lives—especially in retirement. I’ll be talking with guests who embody grateful living, sharing personal stories, and giving practical ideas for cultivating gratitude in everyday moments.

I got permission from Grateful.org to share their articles. For now, I’m just keeping the podcasts short and sweet. I’m still traveling and don’t have any fancy equipment. I also have to relearn the podcasting process, but I was pleased that restarting was easier than expected.

As time goes on, I’ll be looking for guests—particularly solo agers—who have unique perspectives on building love, connection, and gratitude in their lives. If you or someone you know has an inspiring story to share, let’s connect!

Join Me on This Love and Gratitude Journey!

This year has started out hard for a lot of people in this country. I believe this has been the most divided I’ve seen our nation. I’ve felt discouraged and helpless. However, these past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of inspiration. I’d love for you to join me in this journey of spreading love and gratitude. Here’s how you can be part of it:

  • Follow the podcast! I’ll be sharing updates on Carpe Diem Connections and my blog.
  • Try a gratitude practice—check out Grateful.org for daily inspiration.
  • Be a guest on the podcast! If you’re a solo ager with a story to share about love, connection, and gratitude, I’d love to hear from you.
  • Join Carpe Diem Connections, a free Facebook group to connect with like-minded people.
  • Leave a comment! How do you bring more love and gratitude into your life?

Let’s make retirement (and every stage of life) about connection, kindness, and seizing the day!

Love in Retirement: Romantic Partner Optional

A Romantic Partner is Not Required for Love

I spent many of my post-divorce years looking for romantic love. I even wrote a humor memoir about it, The Laptop Dancer Diaries.

Since my divorce, my 89-year-old mother has been worried about me being “alone” in life. One of my recent conversations with her went something like this:

Mom: “Are you still married?”

Me: “No, Mom. Carl and I were divorced over 20 years ago.”

Mom: “You never did find anyone, did you?”

Me: “Mom, I never got remarried, but I did find lots of people who I love and who love me.” (When it comes to romantic love, often those aren’t the same people, but I thought it best not to mention dating woes at this point of the conversation.)

“I have a lot of friends who I love and help when they need it and they love and help me. I am really, really happy being single!”

Mom (with a lightbulb-moment kind of look): “You are SO independent! It must be so nice to be able to go where ever you want and do whatever you want!”

Mom, who was a nurse, has really spent most of her life, taking care of other people. She took care of her family when we were young, her patients when she worked, my Dad, through his battle with cancer, and now, her partner, Philip.

Though I know she derives a lot of purpose and pleasure from being a caregiver, in that moment of lucidity, she had a realization that she never had understood before: People can be happily single! Love does not necessitate a romantic partner!

How Do We Love Without a Romantic Partner?

Giving and receiving love is probably the biggest part of life and happiness! In fact, two years ago, I declared it as my purpose!

In the final paragraph of “Finding Purpose in Retirement”, I wrote:

I guess what it all boils down to is love. I started the year thinking my purpose was “to be as happy and healthy as possible” but I’m going to update it to this: My purpose is to love.

However, a lot of the advice and literature about love is talking about romantic love. There are all kinds of books, podcasts, and articles giving challenges for strengthening your love with your partner. With Valentine’s Day around the corner, it seems like everything is all about romantic love.

A challenge-seeking, yes-questing, love-loving person like me starts to feel a little left out! I want to take part in all these love-improving challenges.

Newsletters and a Love Grant

Maybe I’ll take it as a challenge to create my own love-of-all-kinds challenges to share.

On the home-page of Carpediemday.com I list so many Websites that offer up advice and prompts and suggestions to add more love and happiness in our lives.

I subscribe to all of these and get oodles of ideas for activities I want to do and share via this site.

One of the biggest goals I’ve had is to try and expand my Website and restart my Carpe Diem Connections Podcast. In the past couple of weeks I’ve been preparing to apply for a Love Grant from Greater Goods Science Center. This grant is looking for journalists who write about love of all kinds! That’s exactly what I’m doing on this Website!

In Summary…

Whether you’re in a romantic relationship or not, retirement is a time for us to spend time on giving and receiving love in its many forms.

One of those newsletters I mentioned, “The Mindset” by SuperAge issued this challenge that I’ll leave you with:


Try this today: What if you lived like you had nothing to prove, only more love to give? Make a voice memo to yourself about what that would feel like. Come back to it when you need a reminder.

Join the conversation on the Carpe Diem Connections page or leave a comment with your thoughts on how you can give and receive love in retirement.

The Yes Quest: Finding New Challenges in Retirement

My first Yes for the Yes Quest was saying Yes to the Yes Quest! Yup, I got an endorphin boost just from getting my spreadsheet started. Sure, it was a ‘gimme,’ like the free X in the middle of a bingo card. But still, I was excited. Even though this wasn’t a competition (sadly, no prizes), I was all in on the challenge of filling in as many rows of Yes activities as possible.

When productivity expert Laura Vanderkam came up with the idea for the Yes Quest—a challenge to track all the times you say yes over a few weeks—I was all in. A fun challenge AND a tracker tool? Are you kidding me? Sign me up!

Imagine Museum Scavenger Hunt

By the way, I also filled out the scavenger hunt sheet at the Imagine Museum last Friday. While some people are embarrassed by playing games designed for schoolchildren, I will always participate, even when not on an official Yes Quest.

Where Are the Yeses Hiding?

Here’s the thing, though. As I started tracking my Yes activities, I realized something weird: I’m not being asked for much anymore.

Back in the day, my life was full of Yes moments. My kids were little and needed help with everything. At work, there were endless emails, last-minute tasks, and meetings. 

But now? I’m retired. My kids are grown and super independent. My grandkids are teenagers and have their own long lists of activities. Even Mom, who recently moved into assisted living, doesn’t need much from me. This is absolutely amazing! So why do I have this uncomfortable feeling? Am I no longer valuable or relevant?

It’s like I’ve entered the “nobody’s asking me for favors” phase of life. On the one hand, yay! I’ve got time for movies, dinners, travel, and all the fun stuff. But on the other hand…it’s kind of weird to not feel needed.

Oh! I just remembered that often when friends DO ask me for favors, I often have to say “I can’t” because I’m too busy traveling and doing all that fun stuff.  Then the guilt sets in.

DIY Challenges

Since no one’s asking me for much these days, I’ve become pretty good at challenging myself. I volunteer, I take classes, I exercise, I try new things. I’m always on the lookout for ways to grow or step out of my comfort zone.

But as I worked on my Yes Quest spreadsheet, I started wondering: Am I still growing in the same way if the challenges are all self-imposed? There’s something special about the kind of Yes that comes from being asked by someone else.

The Harder Yeses

As I reflected on this, I realized the biggest challenges in retirement aren’t about doing more—they’re about doing less. Slowing down, accepting limits, and letting go of being needed. Those are the real growth moments these days.

Here are the Yeses I’m working on now:

  • Yes to slowing down. It’s hard when you’re used to being busy, but sometimes the best thing is a quiet night at home with a book or a Netflix movie.
  • Yes to asking for help. I like helping my friends, but it’s a lot harder to ask for help. I’m grateful for my Yes-saying friends who make it easy for me to ask them for help when I need it.
  • Yes to not being needed. This is the big one. It’s a shift to accept that my family doesn’t rely on me the way they used to. But it’s also a blessing—they’re independent, and I’ve got time to focus on myself and others who do need help.
  • Yes to letting go of guilt when I say ’No.’  My friends and family know that I love them even when I say No.
  • Yes to acceptance. Whether it’s letting go of disappointment when someone says no to me or accepting that I can’t do as much as I once could, this is the Yes I’ll probably be working on forever.

Still Growing

The Yes Quest reminded me that growth doesn’t stop when you retire—it just changes. These days, it’s less about juggling a million responsibilities and more about finding joy and purpose in this new phase of life.

So, what about you? What would you say yes to this week? (And if it’s a scavenger hunt or a fun challenge, let me in on it! Gotta get it on the Yes Quest spreadsheet!)